drunk story

annie had been out one night, enjoying some time with some good friends and conversing over a few drinks. "a few drinks" is what she would later call "getting shitfaced," and regretting in part.

after "a few drinks" annie headed home in what felt like a really long cab ride. she went inside, each step feeling a little bit like forever, as she just wanted to get to bed. the key in the lock... turning...pushing the door...going through...up the stairs...again the key in the lock (etc.). annie stepped into the bathroom and sat on the toilet to pee. she found herself unable to resist her fatigue and bent over herself. she ended up knocking her head into a plastic cactus plant that she had placed there after an inspiration she had gotten from a pottery barn catalog. after she was done, annie raised her head and was surprised to see that the planter holding the plastic plant was still on her head. she took it off, brushed her teeth and went to bed.
the next morning, horribly hungover annie started the usual morning visit to the bathroom. when she saw myself in the mirror, she realized she had little plastic cactus plant chunks embedded into her curly hair.
she actually had to cut them out.

next time, annie will think twice about having "a few drinks" and begin going out with her friends for "a drink." she will then translate "a drink" for "enough to get buzzed and continue steadily, eventually plateauing, and finally settling into a nice, even state."